


what you're looking for

by missjmelville



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Feelings Realization, Fix-It, Idiots in Love, M/M, Post-Season/Series 10, Post-Season/Series Finale, Steve McGarrett Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23487211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missjmelville/pseuds/missjmelville
Summary: It’s halfway through the flight that he realizes what a colossal mistake he’s made. Catherine’s hand is still warm curled up with his own between them, but it’s not the hand he wants to be holding.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 65
Kudos: 447





	what you're looking for

**Author's Note:**

> Look, I was happy with the ending until the last couple minutes. I really thought that Danny was gonna sit down next to him. So this is my fix it fic straight after canon though I also want to write one where it is Danny that sits down next to him so uh look out for that too later.
> 
> Thanks to [DramamineOnTopOfMe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DramamineOnTopOfMe/pseuds/DramamineOnTopOfMe) for the beta and for letting me scream at him about the finale while I wrote this.

It’s halfway through the flight that he realizes what a colossal mistake he’s made. Catherine’s hand is still warm curled up with his own between them, but it’s not the hand he wants to be holding. They’ve been silent for most of the flight now but she must sense something has changed, their fingers untangle and she’s looking at him now, curious, but with that look she gets when she knows he wants to talk about something but she doesn’t want to push him. He stares out the window at the ocean way below them and something inside him aches at the distance.

“What is it, Steve?” Catherine is soft and gentle and careful, she’s treating him like he might break and he can’t stand it.

He can’t look at her, can’t bear to see the look on her face, he’s made a horrible mistake and he needs to leave, needs to go but he can’t, they’re stuck thirty thousand feet in the air and there’s nothing he can do until they land at the other side. She tries to grab his hand again and he pulls away, tucks his hand into his lap stubbornly.

“Steve,” she has that tone now like she’s getting annoyed with him, god why did he ever think they would work? He knows now, he’s known for a long time, they never would’ve lasted.  
He sighs deeply and finally turns to face her.

“I’m sorry Catherine, it’s just, we had our chance. I don’t think this is gonna work,” she tries once more to touch him, to comfort him but there’s something in her eyes, she already knows there’s no use. He shrugs her hand off his shoulder.

“Don’t do that,” he struggles for the right words. His breathing is bordering on rapid but he can’t think properly, “Don’t, you’re not what I’m looking for anymore.” He tries to ignore the stinging behind his eyes as he thinks about what he does want. Who he wants. Fuck, he might have messed it all up.

Catherine stares at him for a moment more before she turns away and silence descends between them, he sneaks a look at her but she doesn’t look sad, not really, more resigned. He turns back to stare out of the window and tries to ignore the tears that finally let loose sliding down his cheeks. The rest of the flight is quiet, he pretends to sleep and she lets him, and when they land and they disembark, she kisses his cheek and says goodbye and then he’s alone in the middle of the airport and desperately needing to get back home.

He has to wait. There are no outbound flights back to Hawaii for a couple of hours. It’s almost unbearable. He ignores the ding of notifications from his phone, probably the team asking if he landed okay, checking in, but he can’t look. He doesn’t want to risk seeing whatever Danny might have sent him.

Hours pass, he occupies his time with games on his phone and people-watching.  
The entire flight back he is overcome with nervous anxiety. He can’t stop jiggling his legs or tapping his fingers on the armrest. The old lady sitting next to him keeps frowning at him but he can’t pay her any attention, not when all he can think about is what will happen when he gets back home.

_”What exactly is it that you’re looking for?”_ Danny had asked him, and he’d said _”Peace,”_ but what he really meant was home, belonging, _Danny_. He scrubs his hands over his face and the scruff of his beard itches his palms. He’s not sure why it took leaving for him to realize peace was home, home with Danny.

When the plane touches down in Honolulu, it’s dark outside. It’s late and the roads are quiet when his uber picks him up. The drive back to his house is the most nerve-wracking forty minutes of his life but he can’t turn back now, he’s already come this far, already made up his mind. His palms are sweaty as he undoes his seatbelt when they pull up at his house. He thanks the driver absently and carries his bag on his shoulder as he walks up the porch to the door.

The house is dark and silent, he makes his way soundlessly through the living room with the stealth borne of years in special forces. On the couch, Eddie’s ears perk up but when he sees Steve his tail wags lazily and he closes his eyes knowing it’s not an intruder.

He drops his bag by the stairs and peers into Junior’s room, it’s empty, which means he’s staying at Tani’s tonight. He’s glad they have each other, he thinks as he takes to the stairs quickly and quietly. He skips the squeaky one near the top and continues to his own room.

If Danny’s not on the couch and he’s not in Junior’s room, there’s only one place he’d be and Steve knows he said it was alright for Danny to stay there but it doesn’t prepare him for the gut-punch of longing that hits him as he stands in the doorway to see Danny curled up under the blankets on his bed.

He looks small and fragile, curled up like he’s trying not to take up too much space, the fading bruises on his face look darker in the shadows thrown over him as a sliver of moonlight filters in through a gap in the curtains. His hair is a mess and Steve just wants to smooth it out, he wants to fix it.

He’s not sure how long he stands there just watching Danny sleep, watching the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest. He thinks back to when Danny was in surgery, to how unprepared he was to lose his best friend. The one person he cares most about in the world, the only thing Daiyu Mei was right about. Danny is everything to him.

Steve is prepared to stand there all night until his mind settles, until his heart stills and he can figure out what he wants to do now that he’s here but once again Danny disturbs all his carefully thought out plans. Danny rolls over on the bed, he flings an arm out like he’s looking for something, someone, and the blankets shift, sliding down to reveal his naked shoulder and the ugly red pucker of his newest gunshot wound.

He’s moving before he can think, sliding onto the bed carefully, leaning into Danny’s space, sliding a hand around the back of his head. He settles there, for a moment, hovering above Danny, unsure and suddenly scared he’s gonna mess it all up. His knee presses against Danny’s hip and then Danny is moving.

“Steve,” he mumbles sleepily, turning to face Steve, rolling onto his back, the blankets slipping down farther and his head trapping Steve’s hand there between him and the pillow. Steve is almost right on top of Danny now, his body angled towards him, one hand trapped behind Danny’s head and the other bracing him up on the other pillow.

Danny blinks up at him in the dark, fuzziness of sleep leeching away as he wakes up properly and takes in the fact that Steve is actually here.

“Steve,” he sounds more awake now, his eyes go wide as he looks up at him, Steve isn’t sure what Danny sees on his face but he looks worried, “What’re you-“ he doesn’t get a chance to finish his question as Steve leans down and presses their foreheads together. He just needs a second.

He closes his eyes and just breathes in Danny, their noses brush and he can’t help but sigh softly as all the nervous energy, all the anxiety just melts away. Because he’s here with Danny, where he belongs. When he opens his eyes he’s met with Danny’s curious gaze, his eyes asking what his mouth won’t, _why are you here?_ and Steve doesn’t know really how to answer the unasked question. At least not with his words.

He tilts his head just enough that their lips touch, he closes his eyes again and exhales a shaky breath between them as he moves his mouth against Danny’s in a slow exploratory kiss. 

Beneath him Danny makes a noise, good or bad he’s not sure, but it breaks something in him as he feels Danny’s hand grip his waist tightly and pull him closer.

It’s like a tidal wave breaking against the shore as he surges into Danny, presses him into the bed with his own body and turns what was a chaste brush of lips into a quest to thoroughly wreck the man below him. It’s strange, kissing a man. It’s not strange to be kissing Danny though, it feels right, like home, like peace. This is what he was looking for.

Danny becomes an active participant in the kiss, pulling Steve impossibly closer and moaning into his mouth as they press every part of themselves together. He clenches his hand in Danny’s hair and tugs, it’s not gentle and he pauses for a moment worried he’s crossed a line but Danny shudders beneath him and positively melts into the mattress as he gasps and writhes, knees coming up to bracket Steve’s hips and lock him in place.

“Steve,” Danny gasps into his mouth as they move together, as Steve rolls his hips into Danny and frantically devours his mouth.

“Danno,” he moans back and nips with his teeth enjoying the way Danny is writhing and moaning beneath him, enjoying the warmth and friction building between them. With his free hand, he reaches down and skims his fingers along Danny’s waist. Danny’s arms wind around Steve’s neck and shoulders holding him close. Danny grunts but it’s one Steve recognizes as pained and he tries to pull away, to check, but Danny won’t let him.

“S’okay,” he breathes into Steve’s mouth, “Just my shoulder,” and he wiggles a little to relieve the pressure from the way they’re lying and then they’re kissing again and Steve can’t think of anything else but this and how damn long it took him, ten fucking years, to realize that Danny was it for him.

They don’t last long like this, Steve comes embarrassingly fast and untouched in his jeans from only the friction of their frantic movements and Danny follows closely after. It’s a little awkward until Danny pulls him down beside him on the bed and they trade soft kisses until they fall asleep tangled up together.

Steve wakes early, from years of habit, and wiggles out of Danny’s grip to go shower and change for his morning swim, the sun only just peeking above the horizon spreading soft orange light through the curtains. He stops briefly on his way out the room to run a hand through Danny’s hair, kiss his temple softly and smile at the way Danny instinctively leans into the touch.

When he’s done with his swim and is walking up the shore, Danny is waiting for him in his chair, towel in his lap and coffees on the little table between the two chairs. Steve reaches him and leans down to take the towel, he smiles at Danny and steals a kiss before he straightens up and starts to towel himself off. He misses the smile that breaks out on Danny’s face at how simple it all seems, at least until he drapes the towel around his neck and looks up to see Danny still smiling.

“You know, I don’t wanna ruin the mood,” Danny says and takes a sip of his coffee, eyes taking in the view before him in a way he’d never let himself before, “But what made you change your mind?” He asks and tries to sound nonchalant rather than nervous. He thinks he does a good job.

Steve smiles at him again, he feels lighter than he has in a while like everything has fallen into place, he sits down in the chair next to Danny and reaches for his own coffee, black with grass-fed butter in it. It warms him to know even if Danny hates it, he’ll make Steve his coffee how he likes it.

“I realized that what it was I was looking for, peace, it’s been right here all along,” he replies with a fond look at Danny and he reaches out with his free hand between them, palm up, waiting. Danny twitches like he was thinking of saying something else maybe but instead, he sighs softly, smiles and shakes his head at Steve. But it doesn’t stop him reaching out his own hand and intertwining their fingers together.

“You’re a sap, you know that?” Danny says to cover up how overwhelmed he’s feeling that Steve came back for him.

“Yeah but I’m your sap, Danno,” he replies with such surety, such conviction that Danny’s heart skips a beat and he can’t stop the grin from stretching across his face.

“Yeah you are,” Danny hides his grin behind his mug as he takes another sip and they both watch the waves crash against the shore, it's peaceful and perfect, just the two of them. Steve squeezes his hand and Danny squeezes back, they’re gonna be okay.


End file.
